Thursday, April 17, 2008

Some days...

We all have them...some days leave us emotionally battered and weary as we skulk off to bed. We might feel unloved, unimportant, lonely, uninspired. Forgotten by heaven. And when we have a run of days such as these, they can leave scars. They test our faith. I know you know what I mean.

So. Yesterday I had one of those days. You know my tether? I'd reached the end of it. And it left me pretty grumpy and blue. Mostly blue. Same when I woke up this morning.

And then...the phone rang at lunchtime and my friend Ros was at the other end of a line of communication. "I was thinking about you. I thought I needed to call," she explained. I told her all my gripes, why life was particularly hard today, and she (it turns out) had the perfect story from her past to help me. Her mother had had a fact, worse...experience to mine and once again I learned that, damn it all, I am NOT unique and I am not special...but in a good way! In realising that we share common experiences, we understand that we are not weird or crazy or stupid. We're normal. Our self-esteem increases...our hope. And thus our faith.

Without judging my less-than-spiritual moaning, Ros was able to explain why she felt things had happened the way they had and suddenly I felt supported and loved. I always marvel at the capacity that women have to do this - we have a great, great gift in the way we connect one with another. Then Ros and I had a good old natter and a laugh about her family's recent holiday to Utah (I was amazed she hadn't bought a KitchenAid that was on sale for $205...that's just over a hundred quid folks. Was she a crazy woman!!!!???) By the end of the call, the little black cloud over the top of my head had floated off to precipitate on some Welsh hill, just leaving an artexed ceiling in its place.

And then. Later today I found a way of spending a weekend in Reading and going to the temple on the Saturday for just £24. My friend Steve is coming to Swansea on business and he's going to throw Celyn and me out at Reading on the way back to London on the Friday. We can catch a train back to Swansea on the Sunday - booked seats, cheap as chips. Cheaper than the petrol anyway (it would currently cost me £70 or more to go to the temple and back by car *cough*). So if you fancy meeting up with me, I shall be in Reading 9-11 May and at the temple on the 10th.

And then Steve sent me this. Reflections of Christ: Reflections Slideshow Seriously, you really must click on that link. And turn on your speakers.

And then I felt and knew that God was watching and caring for me the whole time and that despite feeling judged and belittled by others, despite my rebellious heart, He still loved me and he wanted me to know it. He inspired my friend to ring. He gave me a way to get to the temple that I'd been hoping for for weeks. And he filled my heart with beautiful, inspired thoughts of the Saviour.

Come, Thou Fount of every blessing,
Tune my heart to sing Thy grace;
Streams of mercy, never ceasing,
Call for songs of loudest praise.
Teach me some melodious sonnet,
Sung by flaming tongues above.
Praise the mount! I’m fixed upon it,
Mount of Thy redeeming love.

Here I raise my Ebenezer;
Hither by Thy help I’ve come;
And I hope, by Thy good pleasure,
Safely to arrive at home.

Jesus sought me when a stranger,
Wandering from the fold of God;
He, to rescue me from danger,
Interposed His precious blood.

O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I'm constrained to be!
Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee:
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here's my heart, O take and seal it;
Seal it for Thy courts above.

Some days life is good.


Andrea said...

What a great reminder that we are watched over and how important others are in helping us to see that.
So happy you are able to get to the temple for a great deal. Enjoy.
Thanks for the post.

misteejay said...

No comments Chrissie, just sending my thoughts and ((hugs)) your way. Toni :o)

Chrissie said...

Thank you Toni. ((hugs)) right back at ya! :D